Wednesday, May 7, 2008
From my point of view...
My feet are a little dirty, and it is a little dark on the patio, but from my point of view, it is 75 degrees, the humidity is low, and the music is mixing in nicely with the sound of the fountain and the water splashing against the concrete basin.
I loved reading some other blogs tonight, talking with Aaron (who, by way of being probably my only friend in the world is my best friend - no matter how much we strangle each other with our cruel jokes), and then going back and re-rereading some of those blogs...As you can see, the patio is a nice place, I like it out there.
I am not much of a thinker, or a philosopher - I am a simple person who loves to read about other people, who loves to watch other people, and imagine life from their eyes, and almost see what they feel, almost feel what they see...maybe that makes me a sap...but I want to respond to a post that I read, - the blogger is anonymous, but reading about another person is interesting, enticing, wonderful, and voyeuristic in a wierd sort of way. I know there are no questions posted, but thought this was an interesting twenty questions game - you guys can search the blogs - but hell - perhaps each of you should start your own blog, and randomly post answers to questions that were never asked...
I am a control freak, but in a polite way - my rights have been infringed upon enough.
I don't listen well, but it fits perfectly into a world where intelligence is overshadowed, and we have to listen to ignorance - tolerance only goes as far as we can stand it, but sometimes, just listening works too.
Scrambling eggs or baking a turkey - insignificant - the eggs get scrambled, and the turkey gets cooked - it's the process and enjoyment during that matters. And who in their right mind would ever ask anyone how to scramble eggs?
There is no right or wrong way - there is your way and the way others choose to do it - and you are right - fuck em if they don't like my way.
I like lights - I like it bright and open and airy and can worry about global warming when it stops raining half of the year in Seattle, or one of the hurricanes they forecast to destroy Jacksonville actually destroys Jacksonville.
Beds are made to sleep, eat, drink, rest, read, and relax in. Unless I invite company into my bedroom, then if I feel like making it, I will, if not, I will sleep, eat, drink, rest, read, and relax in it.
Television is a distraction that has planted enough shitty ideas in people's mind - I love having a book open on the nightstand during those moments, and turning the TV on as a lullaby.
Afternoons, Mornings, late nights, who cares - scrambled eggs and a newspaper with hot bacon or really good sausage are fine anytime.
For Twenty bucks a month, there are enough coupons to make the newspaper worth reading, even if it is a crappy southern paper. And the recycle bin - well I just bought a rubbermaid bin that was bigger.
I am not a good follower, but I like laughing at silly things and playing off of my company and hurting from the laughter.
My family puts the fun in dysfunctional.
My mother is insane,and Southern Baptist.
My father is insane, and one hell of a tough man who can hug you until the bad things go away. He loves my friends because I love them.
My father's wife is a southern cook,insane,and will hug you until the bad things go away.(in a really insane way)
My six brothers and sisters are mean, selfish and flighty - but they are what I have - and I love them all for the fucked up scenes at holidays
Seven minutes is not worth it - the other two hours, two days, two years, two decades is.
I have a 401K - and have borrowed against it, and will hopefully one day focus on getting rich before I die. Right now, the smart bet is on my life insurance.
I don't take care of staying skinny, fitting into clothes, or looking like a movie star - but Vanilla Swiss Almond is more important.
I have no screaming pustules of death on my stomach, but I do have the early stages of skin cancer on both of my ears.
It is always a complaint from within, but not an issue or a reality.
I always dwell on my body image even though I still eat frozen pizzas and no vegetables.
I like eating whatever it is I'm craving, not whatever is in the freezer, unless of course what is in the freezer is what I am craving. I fill the freezer with just those items that I am craving, just in case.
The time I go to bed is insignificant - I don't like ruining an entire day, but I don't like wasting an entire night - sometimes daytime naps are good, and sometimes, being in bed at 7:30 is good too.
I love going out late and enjoying it to the fullest extent and riding rickshaws, listening to street musicians, drinking too much, spending too much, sleeping too little, and talking with cab drivers about their families.
Sometimes, I don't want to be out late, I want to be home, and cook and clean and do laundry, and just take a hot shower and roam around the yard in my boxer shorts.
I like having friends and family to my home, I want to cook for people and entertain them and I don't want them to leave sometimes - most of the time, my door is always open, and if it is locked, just give me two hours, and I will share a cup of coffee, a smoke, a laugh, and a safe place for them to be when I do unlock it. I just don't want to go to twenty fucking places at holidays - folks know where I live - and the door is open.
I don't want to share anymore. I am selfish and don't want to share anymore. I want my box of candy, tub of popcorn, book, shower, time, rythm, I just think that I want what is mine or what should have been mine. I do want to share experiences - and new, different, unique, unplanned, serendiptous, simple experiences. Sometimes an hour in the grocery is good.
I hate waiting for a decision. From myself - I rationalize not making a decision. Life goes to those who choose, and I need to choose. The construct is clear, the model has been planted, and it's not the first time I have had to choose. I owe no one anything but respect and decency. I am scared of the consequences of most of my decisions - and cowardice is a great motivator to do nothing - but misery is a better motivator to do anything.
Finally, I love Rythm. I do, and I feel that music everywhere - right now, music is what I have, and that's what I love. Sometimes that song or tune or even just a slight whistle in the wind is the rythm that I need. I have been given many gifts, but the greatest one of them all is Rythm. Who knows what I will feel six months from now about the soundtrack from Juno or the Polyphonic Spree or some other song - all I know is that I fell in love with the Rythm itself, and that is worth keeping.