Sunday, November 30, 2008
Odd that we made gingerbread houses. Odd that we sat as a group and made houses of candy and sweet things and laughed at our children - of course, we did have conversations in between -
Is she skinny? What does she look like? Do you have a picture? Does it hurt not to talk to her? Do you miss what you had?
Well, there was the gingerbread to worry about, and in all reality, what good was it going to do for me to be reminded of those things and to have to answer those questions. None - but truth be known, yes I have a picture, yes it hurts terribly to not talk to her, yes I miss her, yes she is beautiful. I cannot say those things in 100% total honesty - we are where we are - there is no reconciliation, there is just holding onto dignity through the holidays. I know that she is gone, my family is broken, and I need to move on, and I am not going to dig or poke or prod or even pretend.
Gingerbread Houses - they came out beautiful.