Monday, November 24, 2008


The equities have been reviewed, the books have been closed, and we start over again. We look into what the next month, quarter, six months, year - what they will bring - and what they might mean for us. Equity - a funny term - things are never equitable - things are in balance - which may mean a disparity exists - but the system is in balance. That may mean one side gets more, one side gives more, one side listens, and the other talks, one side smiles, and the other works, one side hides, and the other publishes...

I am at my wits end, and pretty much out of the magic that the muse used to bring to me. I have a new phone number in my treo that I cannot call, and a hell of alot of old memories to stifle. Where do I go from here? Who really cares? It is a matter of putting one foot in front of the other, pushing a broom, digging. I hate digging. I think I mentioned that in an earlier post, but that is what happens in life - I don't think I have been proven wrong on that maxim yet - we dig. We work the soil, we till the field, we bring in a harvest, and we do it again. We dig, therefore we are. Sure, we may take a break every once in a while - we may let things lay low for a while, throw our shovels down and just live - but we go back to digging.

I guess that's the whole point of this note - I am not going to go back to digging. My shovel is down, and it is down for good. I threw it back to the field a year ago, and that is where it is going to stay. The weeds and vines and fallow fields own that shovel. I was given a year away - and I am going to stay away.

There is no more a demain, there is no more beautiful kittenfish or the hope of a perchance visit - just the shovel in the field to go back to - sorry, I prefer to let the shovel handle rot and the steel spade rust - and I am going to keep living and loving and leave the rest to the diggers....

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