Enchanted...

My children are camped by the television early this Sunday watching Enchanted and giggling - eating their eggs through half broken smiles, not afraid of choking, not worried about how hungry their cats are - just watching McDreamy and that cute redhead princess try and make it in a world that she just does not understand, but makes it work with music and birds and flowers...

My dreams have been all consumed lately by music and birds and flowers, and the occasional wierd ending that changes the way I look at my day - last night was no exception - the usual 3 am wake up, shortness of breath, slight sense of panic, and then the slow count to ten - to drift back to sleep. It is tough being a walking zombie in the morning - I live somehwere in between dreams and reality, and push to get closer to one or the other - Starbucks helps, Paxil helps, Cigarettes help - but still, there is sleep in my eyes - I want to live in those dreams for just a few more minutes.

Have you ever wondered if you are some stage player in your own life - if there is some act that you memorized the lines to - then you carry out your ad lib better than Jonathon Winters during a David Letterman interview? I guess this goes back to the theme that I always tend to write about - especially after a long break from writing - I don't know why I have been so lazy about writing lately - I still feel inspired - I just wonder if the audience really wants to read it. All the world is a stage....but the one thing that I am not acting at still is my muse.

Today - no big plans, maybe I go into town and watch the football game with dad, maybe we sit around and eat boiled peanuts, maybe we find something to do that is fun, or maybe we just do nothing - I pack, she smiles, I do laundry, they color, I work out, the cats lay in the sun. Not that those things are not fun, they just are not exciting and on the edge of the adrenalin pump that I need hooked to brain.

The next three weeks of travel are exciting, Portland, Maine - Sacramento, California, Seattle, Washington, Dallas, Texas, Washington D.C. - I am looking forward to the next three months - the feel of the jet plane pushing my back into the seat, the excitement of going somewhere - anywhere...

I guess my life is Enchanted - I get to live in other worlds every single day of the work week - and it is only during the weekends that I have to worry about not fitting in with things I am developing a greater misunderstanding for - it is sad - but for now, it is what I feel like writing about...