Saturday, February 9, 2008

Pressed Jasmine and Six Mile Runs...

Tonight has been unbelievable - I was supposed to run a seven miler, although I smoke like a West Virginia power plant, and drink a little too much to be considered a serious athlete, I do like to feel the street on the bottoms of my feet - once I get past about 4 miles, my brain starts to think the road is moving - like driving in a car as a child watching the trees go by through the window, feeling the breeze and every once in a while seeing a sign that draws your attention - like the hundreds of miles of South of the Border signs that pop up between Northern Georgia and the South Carolina-North Carolina border. So tonight I went six miles - and gave it everything that I had - it was dark, and there was a smiling moon - I don't know what scientific phase that is, other than it smiles at you as you run, so it kind of laughs as you laugh and keeps you going.

Today was just as good, my little girl lost another tooth, and her gummy grin still lights up the room - we went to the adult version of Chuck E Cheese and played games and laughed and then cashed in our tickets on cool stuff that probably would have been cheaper if bought at Target - but the memories are more important - the money, sure it is important, but to see my son mastering a video motorcycle and laughing as I crash - that was worth it.

Right now there is a movie on that I really don't want to watch - the narrator is guiding us through some affair between a stay at home mother and a father studying for the bar exam, I think it is called "little sisters" with Kate Winslet - and it is depressing me - the sheer thought of having options is the over-riding theme - and those options, really, what options are there - there is a song out there that says life goes to those who choose - and I know there are a million choices - just go into starbucks and watch the first timers try to order a regular cup of coffee to learn that there is no longer just a cup of coffee.

Holding beauty for two hours or twenty years is a crushing feeling - it is an obligation and a respite, a welcome drink and a parching vinegar, a shaking earthquake and a cool bahama breeze. I could never trade what I am feeling now for anything, I could never let go of where I am now or where I have been, and that is what makes the choices seem infintessimal - and makes them seem so reasonable and so easy to make, but so avoidable and caustic.

Pressed Jasmine is amazing - when you open your book, even after pulling the Jasmine out - it is still there, the smell, the shape of the star flowers, the greenish tint of the leaves. That smell still lingers and that's frankly all I really am feeling right now - I can go out on the patio, sit in my overused chairs, and smell the Jasmine.

Tomorrow I am going to the beach with the family at Mickler's Landing - and am going to run and play frisbee, and dig a pretty deep hole - I enjoy digging at the beach, and so do the kids - it is not supposed to be too warm, only 70 degrees, but if I dig hard enough, and keep the kids out of the wind, then it will be a good day. Cold fried chicken and water for lunch, wind from the ocean, and digging a hole with my children. That sounds like the perfect way to worship on Sunday.

Good night, the cadence of the crickets is piping, and I really need to listen to that song tonight, and hear what those brown eyed singers have to say.

Until next time...

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