Thank God the holidays are finally over, and those of us who are used to spending the majority of their time in airports (obviously making the decision to spend the extra dollar and large size the beers…) and we can get back to the comfort of our empty hotel rooms, on demand movies, and small bags of free peanuts. Travel during the holidays certainly takes a small amount of patience, as every person who has not watched the news since 9/11 tries to get on board an airplane with a chainsaw, a gallon of two-cycle gas, and a large screen television (whaddya mean I can’t carry this on, it is a flat screen….).
The best part about the holidays is that the 92% traveler gets the opportunity to get back to what they work for, and then realize very quickly that the folks who have to stay home 92% of the time have it much worse than we do. I was amazed at the level of the following in my home:
Milk Consumption – Children seem to have a never ending thirst to drink at least one gallon of milk per day. As an adult, all I can think of is endless hours battling lactose intolerance, but those little 3 foot tall machines require a constant supply of the stuff. I have a small yard, but I am wondering if they have miniature cows that I can raise (and if the neighborhood association will allow it)
Laundry – As a traveler, I have learned that you can wash anything with a little hotel shampoo and a sink. This is not the case for those at home. If a speck of dust (apparently) hits a piece of clothing, it instantly must go into the mountain of laundry that builds up in about three hours. I spent more time separating darks from permanent press than I did watching my kids open gifts. (I also received severe tongue lashings when the temperature of the water, the cycle setting, among other things that you are apparently supposed to do when using washing machines) It was good to get back to the hotel where my workout clothes were cleaned with a bar of “facial soap” after brushing my teeth.
Dirty Dishes – Those new fangled sinks that the 92% homemakers want (those that have the seemingly endless bottom) are nothing more than an excuse to parlay the movement of dirty dishes into the dishwasher. They are also scientifically designed so that you can fill the sink – and then you can almost get all of those dishes into the dishwasher – try it sometime. If you have three or four hundred milk glasses strewn about the kitchen, they will all fit in those sinks – but you will only be able to get 296 of them into the dishwasher.
Appointments – My longing for the road grew with every appointment at gymnastics, play dates, boy scouts, girl scouts, Future Farmers of America, Doctors appointments, manicures, tennis lessons, soccer tryouts, and finally basket weaving 101. I began to understand why my wife’s minivan automatic door broke after two months – the damn thing wore itself out.
With all that being said, I have to honestly admit (as much as I hate the holidays) that it was nice to be home for a little while, enjoy a sandwich on the couch, see friends and relatives, and pass out naked in my own backyard (versus passing out naked in a backyard somewhere in Seattle).
Until next blog –
George
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