Falling Up....

I spend an inordinate amount of time reading - the news is boring, television is boring, and the other habits that I have developed on the road have created enough regret to load a small U-Haul and boat trailer....

I sometimes wonder what all of those confident, successful folks who write those wonderful business books really do - I mean really - do they sit down at their word processor, query the internet for fancy quotes or catch phrases, and then go about parsing cliches to publish for $39.95 (any seasoned traveller will tell you to go to the Read and Return bookstores - it is like a savings account for the road warriors...)

The epiphany that hit me this week was a tough one, being on the road 92% of the time does strange things to families, friends, and those around you. It gets easier to merge your real life from your road life, and unless you keep those things grounded - one of them takes over. (Guess which one usually rules for those of us who have yet to write or heed the advice of those self help books)...

Personal and Professional lives are odd beasts - I am so much involved with both, that it is getting harder to separate the two - right now, the struggle for me seems to be making the decisions - which life is more important - because merging the two has created the situation that one of them has to give. I made an ass out of myself and ended up walking home at two o' clock in the morning with nothing to show for my behavior except a pocketful of receipts and a pissed off co-worker - but it was a good thing to have happen. Why? It was a gut shot of reality and brought the things back in perspective that I have left to drift for the past three or four years...

I love my work - but at the end of the day, if I stop going, does it really matter? I am confident that I give 100%, but if I hold a conference call versus a week long pep rally - who cares? The bartenders at the hotels all love me - but really, do they give a crap if I spend another night in their fine establishments with the other folks lamenting, laughing, and lying? Does sacrificing my personal beliefs and becoming a pushy lush for the sake of making another dollar really do the good things and reflect upon those people who I care for in a positive way?

This was a crappy post - granted, but I needed to get it out there - what about the rest of you - what do you think?