Friday, April 15, 2011
So...Letters from Sea
So, its 1:45 am, and I just sent Gabe out to the all night pizzeria – I figure I have refused to take the elevators on the ship (we are on deck 5, the pool is on deck 9, the gym is on deck 9, the restauraunt is on deck 2) so I am getting a fair share of exercise going up and down the stairs. Add to that the gym visits, the salads, the light meals, and I may actually lose weight on this cruise. Carson Daily is on right now, and he just was talking with Meiko – funny, we have seen lots of artists…hmm I wonder if they will ever get famous one day.
It was good to hear your voice. I don’t really want much out of our relationship. I want to have a companion that I can talk to. I want to be able to smile, laugh, giggle, cry, yell, run, stay up late, go to bed early, drink too much, drink too little – basically I want you to be honest with me, and I want to be honest with you, and I want to enjoy as much time as I possibly can with you.
Apparently, I fell asleep during that email – because that is what I opened my computer up to this afternoon – I guess a few too many rum drinks, a little too much sun, and waking up next to two slices of cheese pizza…
So Friday has come and gone – we had a great day – Gray made an awesome pick of the Playa Mia beach break – it had everything she wanted – and we ended up spending the day playing volleyball on the ocean, our team was a ragtag group of children, overweight c competitive parents, and single Theta Chi fraternity brothers out on spring break – it was hilarious to watch everyone try to keep it kid friendly, but at the same time have fun- my knees ache like an old door that is missing a hinge, I am not sure if my feet should feel this way, and I am pretty sure that my back has deteriorated a few notches, but seeing Gabe and Gray laugh and smile and play and just be kids made the entire trip worth the money. Funny, I live in Florida, we could play beach volleyball every other weekend, but it takes three grand, a boat, and Spanish speaking folks to entice my fat ass on to the court – with that being said, it was a great day, and the kids thought it was cool that I could walk to a taxi and say to him La Playa Mia Por Favor, Quantos dollars senor…..
Speaking of my Spanglish, I met a man today in one of the bodegas, his name was Renaldo, he lives here on the island, and he is “divorcado” as well – we talked in Spanglish about the joy that our ninos bring us, and the lack of understanding that they have about “dinero” un “divorcado” – he started to cry – it was heart wrenching, from what I could gather – his ex-wife took his ninos to the mainland, and he stayed to run his shop and work hard – but he misses Miguelito, and loves his son, and his little “angel”, then we did shots of tequila and sang Mexican songs together and taught each other English and Spanish while Gray had her hair braided. We spent an hour talking, it was almost Hemingwayish in its simple beauty – he had a hut, with customers, buying junk and hair braiding, but it paid the bills, and he could afford for his kids to go to school and to see them every month via ferry. It was nice, he shook my hand and said “Tu es una gringo, pero tu es una bueno gringo” – and then he wanted me to take a rosary – and I told him that I wanted him to have my blessing – he hugged me, offered me more tequila, and we walked away. $80,000 US and $600,000 retirement, and I could be here, and live for a lifetime – something to think about when the kids are older – sanding an old boat to fish in, opening a bar for gringos and locals alike, waking up in the morning and smelling your hair, and seeing your smile, and wondering if we really want to open today,or just go snorkeling for ourselves, or have breakfast and wander down to the cruise terminal to take a family out for a day on an old boat, and smile with them, and then write about them in our blogs…I can see it, and think it is realistic to want to be here – it is simpler in these places – unlike the States, it comes down to Time and Money – there is plenty of time, and things are cheap, and with a good try, there is plenty of money.
Today had to be the highlight of the trip – granted, I was proposed to by the hired driver in Roatan – but Roatan is too violent, and the people are used to violence, but in Mexico, the people do appreciate honesty, and I like that raw feeling of going to discussing the “luchadores” (wrestlers – the popular one right now is Mysterio, and he is about 5’4” but they love him) right to having a shot of tequila singing a rousing chorus of Valla Con Dios – or some other song they tried to teach us.
I am afraid my kids don’t have that same sense of securidad that I do when I am out and about – maybe it is a lack of fear on my part (that would be more intelligent and better served with more), or maybe it is that they are kids – American kids, and they just don’t know what it is like to wonder where food may be, or if school is open, or if they can drink the water today – I don’t know.
Okay enough of waxing, how can I best describe six days cruising to you – it is eating, followed by eating, then you eat, just in case you did not eat enough. No, practically, it is floating for six days on a blue sea that is a vast expanse, occasionally interrupted by lights from somewhere. There are shows and indulgent spas and swimming pools and piano bars and shops and people, but the best times – and I mean the best times, are when it is late at night, and you prop the door of your stateroom open and hear the ocean push against the ship – that is the time when all the other folks have passed out, sleeping, waiting for the next guided adventure – and I just get to sit in the relative silence of the ocean.
You being here would make that perfect. I want your adventurous spirit and your strength with me on the next one – I can see your brown eyes gleaming as we drink fresh coconut water, or we try something that looks like it is good, or we have a cold beer in a small via or calle in a Mexican town. I miss you. I missed you yesterday, I missed you today, and with my awesome powers of deduction, I am sure I will miss you tomorrow. Its difficult to feel those emotions when I am working – I have a distraction – but when I have time to stop and think – I realize I want you here – I want our family, all of them, joking, complaining, whining, laughing, asking for things- I want that all at the same time.
It struck me funny what you said in your letter – I know that we can survive apart – we are two people capable of doing things that we probably never thought we would (and are doing them now) – but I choose, everyday, to be with you – you are good to me, and good for me, and I love you for that. I miss you. I don’t like being on vacation without you. I do not like not hearing your voice, I do not like not sleeping beside you, or waking up next to you, but like I said, the distance highlights that- and it makes it no easier to dwell on those things. I love you, I am in deep debt for your friendship, I love being with you, and you do make a difference in my life. What I would give to kiss the North Star right now.
I cant wait to see you.
Jorge (aka George)