Friday, January 30, 2009

Another Thursday Night...

So, it gets cold in Maine - cold enough for the snow to pile up, and the trucks to have to folllow some sort of plow - it spits snow into the back of the truck - and then, what was wierdly surreal to me - those trucks dump it into the ocean - strange - trucks loaded with snow, dumping themselves into the ocean -

I was hurt tonight - oddly, it has been a long time since I have been hurt - by a few simple truths - I cannot take another Thursday night - well, where do they come from? Not really sure, but I am pretty sure that I want them to be in some sort of congruency and and togetherness. I love what hurt me, I just do not love the why of the hurt.

Not very often I get non-contrarian, not very often I actually expose what I have to be thrown out there for someone else to have, not very often that the freedom I have felt is afforded me - but tonight I wanted it all back - because of another Thursday night.

And so it is, just like she predicted - I have no false hopes, I just know that I feel the way I do - but - thanks to a little common sense - refuse to admit it to her tonight, as much as I want to. Bob (my new name for the lucky guy we all learn to hate who has not earned what we have all worked to love) will win, and so it is.

Yep. Another Thursday Night - that she cannot deal with - Yep. Another Thursday Night that I do not want to be without her - Yep. Good thing, but not the right thing.


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