This is some place I may never get to go - someplace I think I was supposed to go, but ended up at a waterfall instead - all the same, just as beautiful, and the company was just as wonderful, but not LaPush, not the coast. I imagine there will be other opportunities in between family vacations and conventions and the occassional wanderlust, but for some reason, much like the emptiness in this picture, the quiet solace, I suspect the feeling will be one of retrospect, not dreaming. That is a tough thing to come to grips with.
I wonder, being some sort of an agnostic, if that driftwood wants to be there, by some piece of sheer will wanted to be next to that rock, and rest a while in the sand, and let the cool mist blanket while awaiting for the next tide. I am beginning to think that I am somewhat drifting - I thought the past year was a dreamlike state - but the funny things is now that I have found it magically easy to slip back into my past life, it was the only real year that I have had in a long time - sort of like the movie or book "Awakenings" - awake for a while to experience life, then back into the haze to enjoy the quiet solace.
Disappointment came very easy this week. It was not intentional, nor malicious, but it was selfish. I feel it was selfish. I feel it was almost a jab to push back further, and to separate the distance even further. But those are just my thoughts. You know what they say about thinking...think in one hand, love in the other, and both hands end up empty...
That's enough for now, I am tired, but happy. The phone is ringing...
George
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