Thursday, August 7, 2008

Fired...and Kisses...

We'll get to the over magnified picture in a few paragraphs, but you know when you have that awful yicky feeling that you are going to get fired? That's what I have - in fact, I have had it for months now - maybe it is just my gut telling me that I could get fired, and then my family could use that custom fitted mosquito net that fits PERFECTLY on the back of a Dodge Grand Caravan, and turns an otherwise common and generally accepted minivan into a popup trailer...let's see - after the foreclosure, I could afford to live in the K Campground south of Palatka for ($17 per night, 50K in savings - hell that's a fuckload of nights) - my paranoia sometimes is just ridiculous, but this week has been bad - it is a mix of "Am I an Idiot" coupled with "Who is listening" followed by "Did I feed the cats?" (The cats thing is just something that popped into my head, but it does give you some indication of what I think on any given occassion. Just so everyone knows - it would not surprise me if I lose my job - I am a royal pain in the ass, I probably call too much, communicate too much, point out too many issues, fix too many problems, and essentially believe the best way to win the game is to change the game - that is not necessarily what a midwestern engineering firm is looking for. I think they prefer process, provenance, prudence, and purity. Those 4 P's - well they don't really fit my style. The only P that really fits my style is Pugilist...

Okay - so now that I have gotten that off of my chest, I have been thinking about this blog for three or four or five days now - I mean, not just passing thoughts, or those thoughts that you have when you are standing on an elevator or passing someone in traffic - these have been (somewhat scary) constant thoughts about kisses. Yup, kisses. I almost feel as if I have hit the edge of the sanity cliff with those thoughts - and you know what, I rationalize that it is okay to think about those kisses - when I am running, right before I fall asleep, when I am working, when I am on a conference call, I am possessed like some B Movie teenage star with kisses. I guess I should go into why - but first, I digress.

There, done digressing - (that was what I like to call a silent digression, I was actually taking a few minutes to just think about kisses, so there, now you know that without medication, I will have a problem getting rid of this whole kissing fixation) anyway Jonathan Swift (who some think was actually Shakespeare) said:

"Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

I could not disagree with him more - it is the fool who refuses to kiss that pays the highest price - hell - it's only a kiss, right?

I love those kisses, the ones you steal away after a few beers, the ones you wake up to, the quick tight lipped kisses around the corner, the soft long wet kisses that leave a coolness on your cheek, the kisses that are on stomachs and legs and hands and feet, the kisses that are right in the foldy part of the arm, the kisses that push hard on the shoulder blade and soft on the neck, the kisses that suck in skin, the kisses that push hard, the kisses that have teeth involved, the kisses that don't end, the kisses that are half asleep and lazy, and the fast fun loud music grabs, the kisses with mouths full of a new food or flavor, the kisses that are wine laced, the kisses that are not fair, the kisses that are giving, the kisses that say I love you, and finally the kisses that say I want you.

I love kisses. I can't stop thinking about stupid kisses, and boy howdy, I need one now - no matter what kind it is.


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