Sunday, May 1, 2011

Worthwhile Things....and not so worthwhile things...

That's a worthwhile pursuit above - don't forget to share this link - the readership is actually starting to pick up, hell, before you know it, I may get an offer from an obscure midwest town to do their obituaries twice a month - so keep sharing, and as always, thanks for reading!

Okay, so enough heavy stuff about athiests and all - just had to get that off of my chest. I am not in the business of offending people, or being offended, I prefer to want my pieces, and let you have your pieces, and sometimes we can put all of those pieces together. None the less, I have been bothered by worthwhile things lately - what really is a worthwhile thing - I have been reading too much about philosophers, and was really disturbed to the point of actually obsessing on the definition of worthwhile - if anyone has a definition of what worthwhile is, share it in a concrete sentence - if not, then you are like me, and probably like many other folks, who begin to itemize what really is worthwhile in their day to day routine -

My lifetime has been filled with what I believe are worthwhile things - and I guess to some degree that is all that really matters - I don't see much of an issue simplifying that to a few core items -

1. The kids - they are worthwhile. Where else can I get to tell them why I believe they should or should not do something - and not have to tell them that I tried it both ways, and found the right way is usually the path of least resistance.

2. The relationship - it is worthwhile. It is hard work to stay on the same page - or to get back to the same page - but waking up next to someone you love, or just holding hands is worthwhile.

3. The job - it is worthwhile. Simply put, you have to eat. You might as well do something that you love, or at least something that you are good at, and seek a means to an end. It pays the bills - so there you have it.

Okay - so now I have listed my worthwhile things. Okay, so there are many others, but those represent the core for me - now for what I continually do that I think is probably ot so worthwhile -

George's Top Ten of Less than Worthwhile Pursuits -

1. Hair. Yup, as you guessed, I want to have hair. Not the kind that seems like it wants to grow as you near forty, and only sprouts on your back, your nose, and your ears. I want hair on the top of my head. Truth be known, if the generic rogaine from Costco stops working, then I am heading straight to that place that will make my head look like a newly sown yard. Plug my head full of hair until it looks like a freshly planted cornfield. Then send me a bill.

2. Collections. Every week when I clean my house, I clean around the 30,000 or so baseball cards and memorabilia items that I have. Sure, I have no earthly idea why I collect these things. I have no idea why I don't ebay the whole lot of them, and make space for a dining room table. I just know that I have stack and stacks of sorted, unsorted, opened, unopened, shiny, glossy baseball cards sitting downstairs. Perhaps it is me capturing my lost youth, but it is probably more realistic to think that I am just a little OCD, and baseball cards fit the bill.

3. Romanticism. I like to be romantic. Those of you who know me, probably think this is the wierdest damn thing that has ever come out of my mouth, but I at least like to try. Sure, I am probably going to fart in bed as soon as we get home from the super nice dinner, and I am probably going to throw in the F-bomb in traffic, but I still like to try to be a little romantic from time to time.

4. Reading. I have not gotten any smarter since the eighth grade - but I can assure you that I have read a shitpot of books. My credit card bills can attest to that, and I could neatly summarize all of them into one sentence - "I cannot remember for the life of me what the fucking conclusion was". Still, I like to read, at the time, it seems important to study how cheap calories are in the United States because of processed food, or the history of how the United States took advantage of the folks in territorial islands, but now, if you were to ask me what I thought about it, I would refer back to the sentence above.

5. Saving money. This would be worthwhile if I had any to save, but given that I now officially take home less money than I was taking home five years ago (long story, but taxes are a bitch, and a piece of advice - you can always give more child support - but never agree to give more - just follow the state guidelines, that way you can afford little things, like toothpaste), but saving seems to be futile in its own right. There are too many other things to do, and I figure that by the time I retire, Social Security will be fixed, and only 28% of the population (down from 42%) will be paying taxes.

6. Scheduling. I schedule my time to the nearest minute. I have to. My schedule changes every week. I don't know why I bother. Everyone that I have a relationship with knows that my appointments usually begin at or around or maybe before or perhaps or certainly not before some time in the near future, but if you look at my calendar, it really looks like I know what the fuck I am going to be doing June 3rd at 4:30.

7. Physical fitness. Is this really worthwhile? The more I work out, the faster I reach my deductible on my health insurance. It does my absolutely no good to go to the elliptical for an hour long date five times a week. Why you ask? I am too damn sore to walk down the grocery aisle for beer and Oreos. I see those folks who weigh about thirty seven pounds, and I know for a fact that most of them eat slim fast and condiments (only slim fast and condiments). If I keep working out, my titanium body part collection (neck) is going to expand to my knees, hips, and lower back. None the less, I will pursue having a six pack of abs - and see where that gets me.

8. House Cleaning. I like the house to smell like the laundry aisle in the grocery store. Not that I am obsessive about clean, but I don't like shit on the counters, floors, walls, carpet, or anywhere else for that matter. I like things in order. Then, I like to get things out of order. Compound that with a teenager and a ten year old, and I don't understand why I do these things every Sunday. I have never had company at my house, really don't have too many folks to impress, but I can assure you, it is clean.

9. Gardening. I don't have one in Florida, but I do like to keep Cadence's yard looking nice. In the northwest, gardening is more like putting shit into the ground until it freezes again next week. You rake up evergreen needles, maple tree leaves, and dead things - and then you sit and enjoy a beer. You repeat this weekly, and then once a year, rip all of that old shit out, and put new shit in so that you can repeat that weekly for another year.

10. Writing. I saved the best for last. This is really not a worthwhile way to spend your time. I mean really, I could be surfing the best in internet porn right now, or doing some online gambling, or better yet, trying to balance my checking account - but why would I do that - when I have this.

That's the most of them - there are more - many more, but I have run out of time, I am supposed to be at the pool at noon, and it is 12:58 - so much for that scheduled event....

Until next time,


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