Better Sundays...

The house (or the apartment - better yet, Gray asked today if I had room service at my new hotel) was full of good sounds - the kids room is still full of styrofoam packaging and cardboard boxes, and now it is a fort full of "snow" made by broken pieces of foam littered about the room - they call it their "little Maine" - and enjoy the emptiness of the room. It is amazing how the kids can can be in an empty room of discarded furniture boxes and rubbermaid storage containers and turn it into a dream world of laughter and armies and forts and kings and queens...

My house was filled with good things - Gray, a little scared, a little upset, wanted to cook dinner, and take some to Mom, we did - she was happy to have that fifteen minutes of Mom time - and to see her and know that we are still mom and dad - there was laughter this weekend as the kids dove into the pool, seemingly a valentines weekend ritual for them now - it is warm enough outside to wear shorts and flip-flops, so it must be warm enough to swim. The sounds of Wii and the Disney Channel were blaring until fifteen minutes ago, when the two tired eyed angels decided it was okay to lay down and go to sleep.

I am not so sure about all of my decisions throughout the past 18 years - and not really sure that I want to make them again, but I can be positive about two things - and the noises this Sunday were exactly what life for a middle aged man should be like - it should be filled with family and children and waking up to fix breakfast and play games and deal with life's challenges. It is easy to pour yourself into that after long weeks at work - I can see how it would become difficult to do just that - and not anything else, but for me, it is more relaxing and rejuvenating than a weekend spent sitting on a beach...

This divorce thing, well, it is what it is. There have not been too many good Sundays. There have been more questions than answers, and more uncertainties than given quantities - but this Sunday, it was a much better Sunday than most. Sure, that sinking feeling is still there, and it is awkward to know how to be a family, while trying (even creating) ways to not be the family you are used to - but this Sunday was good, and for what that is worth, I will take it.