I am just tired now. Just tired and worn out. I feel like I have not showered in days, eaten in days, worked out in days, loved in days, worked for years without a break, and am growing extremely less patient with the entire deal. I get on a plane in 45 minutes after 7 hours of sleeping on a dirty floor, and I am sure I resemble summer road kill in the deep south.
There are times that I honestly wish I chose a different course in life - and this is one of them - managing a convenience store close to the house, I could make a few baseball practices, maybe even spend more the 48 hours at home, and make a good simple living. Maybe become a framer or a roofer or a carpet installer - work from six am until four pm, go home, take a shower, have a meal with my family, and sleep. Not worry about the weekends unless I really need the extra hours for an upcoming birthday or celebration that would require a few extra dollars.
I am just tired, but I know I will not be able to sleep today, the kids are ready to see Dad, and Dad is ready to see the kids. I am whining and bitching and moaning, but I just want to be awake enough to have a snow cone from the Snoopy snow cone machine with my daughter and play catch or paddle ball with my son. Somethings are not completely fair - and I am beginning to think (or at least getting to some stage of coherent thought) that I am the person that I never wanted to be, the absent father, the missing husband, the lost friend...
You know what I need - I need 10 hours of quality time to sleep, a hot shower, a warm meal, and the smiles of my loves...that's what I need right now, unfortunately that's a 12 hour plan, and that's 25% of the time I have for the weekend...
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